No words...

I am going tomorrow... going to face the truth I tried to escape for too long now...
Even though I won't admit I know that I will have soon to speak about you in the past! I won't admit that I will miss you so much!
You are not perfect however you were allways next to me in bad and good moments... with you bad character, your non demago sentences but saying the truth or at least your reality without trying to be nice.
I learned to know you even though communication was not really our strength....
You taught me how to ride a bicycle, taught me to be demanding with myself 1st and then with the others, you taught me to be honest, look in the eyes and shake hands. How to be pride of myself just because it's me as long as I follow those old rules.
You protected me from my fears....

I learned to love you behond your bid defaults such as you did with me.
Learned how to respect your decisions even though I disagreed with them and be sure that this one is the hardest to accept but I have to...
This will be my last present to you... you are still here but I am afraid to say I already miss you.... Love you

PS- just for "fun" one of your favorite songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGC003Xz3CY

Nostalgie

13 ans demain... 13 ans déjà et même si tout est passé je ne peux m'empêcher d'y penser.
J'y pense et sens une boule au fond de moi sûrement liée au regret et à l'amertume de voir mon Rêve brisé.. un rêve, un project qui semblait si simple impossible en réalité...
Je ressens un mélange de tendresse face à l'innocence des intentions, de la rage de m'en souvenir année après année et de m'être attachée à cette pensée...
Refaire des projects me semble aujourd'hui utopique... c'est le prix de l'innocence perdue...

Une fois de plus no regrets juste un peu de nostalgie

Birthday

Today is a very Important Day!
my little daughter, my little thing, my big Love, my everything is 4 years!!
She was born on June 24th, 05 and I only met her 3/4 months later!
Happy Birthday my Pirucinhas you already had your extra lunch!

Bad Day or Bad Times?

Some people say Life is a cycle! What goes around comes around etc...
I really are more and more doubtful! I also doubt that we allways get what we deserve... luck has a lot to do with that!
But if life is a cycle then my question is - how long is which one?

Hope the wind will change...soon...

It's all about Philosophy

On the other day someone told me this very special sentence that I could not keep only for myself and I needed to share it with you:

Opinions are like asses: all have one but they all stinks...

Isn't it a deep thought???

Take care!

4 years

I was to write a post about this aniversary on March 20th however times flies and inspiration was about zero! It is not much better now but this aniversary is too important for me not to write a single word about it.
It means for me a lot of good and bad points.
4 years ago I arriveds quite aware of the hard time I could pass through but with a dream with a lot of inocent stars in the eyes. I trully believed that my fairy tale was becoming true and that the well known sentence "and they lived happy forever and ever" was the part I was starting to live.
As you all know it was not really the case and I just miss the inocence I won't have again.
No regrets for the rest. Good and bad moments, memories but at least experience and a certainty: that was not what I expected and above all what I wanted.

I do belive that after a fairy tale it is hard to start something again, believe, trust, give, share, communicate just because we don't want to be hurt again but on the other hand it becomes easier to express what we really need.... that's the good point of experience.

Life will let me know whether I will stay here and also whtehr I can start now livng the fairy tale or if I still have to learn...

C U.
Music of the day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqrwxfvOwNQ&NR=1

Another Music

On the other day I heard this music that made me go back in time when lirfe was much diferent ... when I was in another country and still at the University... good times, good memories....
I needed to share it here...

ANOUK "Nobody's Wife"

"Nobody's Wife"I'm sorry for the times that I made you scream
for the times that I killed your dreams
for the times that I made your whole world rumble

for the times that I made you cry
for the times that I told you lies
for the times that I watched and let you stumble

It's too bad, but that's me
what goes around comes around, you'll see
that I can carry the burden of pain
'cause it ain't the first time that a man goes insane
and when I spread my wings to embrace him for life
I'm suckin' out his love, 'cause I, I'll never be nobody's wife

I'm sorry for the times that I didn't come home
left you lyin' in that bed alone
was flyin' high in the sky when you needed my shoulder

you're like a stone hangin' round my neck, see
cut it loose before it breaks my back, see
I've gotta say what I feel before I grow older I'm sorry but I ain't gonna change my ways

you know I've tried but I'm still the same
I've got to do it my own way It's too bad, but hey, that's me
what goes around comes around, you'll see
that I can carry the burden of pain
'cause it ain't the first time that a man goes insane
and when I spread my wings to embrace him for life
I'm suckin' out his love, I, I'll never be nobody's wife

It's too bad, but hey, that's me
what goes around comes around, you'll see
that I can carry the burden of pain
'cause it ain't the first time that a man goes insane
and when I spread my wings to embrace him for life
I'm suckin' out his love, I, I'll never be nobody's wife